i think this is a good date format. mmddyyhhmm. prefaced with an n for notes just in case theres a different thing i want to do with that specific notation. unlikely. i like the idea of not being found here though. at least, like, not by anyone i know. it's so hard to have that kind of space right now for me at least. used to be easier, but so much has changed. different internet. i'm older. different people. different world. feels like something huge dying, or maybe giving birth. like maybe these are contractions. but i don't know. abstract language feels like the only way to begin to approach it, but it feels like the kind of shape of the kind of thing deserving of more precision. in my head i call it the beast for short, which is, like, so dramatic and extra. but 'the system' feels pretty cliche. and it misses some of it. it's both, is the thing. it's a problem that is inherent and endemic to the system, but it NEEDS a direct deliberate human action. someone has to pull the trigger, even if all they do all day is pull triggers, they have that small power, to, for a second, stop until the next guy comes along. i don't know where i'm going with any of this.